In last week’s post, we explored the world of undergarments. This week we have a few remarks on other matters of hygiene. Remember, actors work in tight quarters so what is mere common courtesy for the general public is a matter of some urgency backstage!
Piercings
Our counseling to actors over the years has included these gems:
- No one wants to hear about your piercings.
- No one wants to know where those piercings are located.
- No one wants to touch any part of your piercings. So please do not bounce up and down on your toes as you wait for your stage entrance and giggle because your piercings are jingling. Your bouncing has just jiggled a part loose that will fall on the floor only to be found by some unsuspecting crew member who will pick it up WITH HIS BARE HAND. Have a heart, people.
Body Odor
By now you can imagine some of the lectures we’ve had to give over the years.
- Shower daily.
- Use a deodorant daily. An antiperspirant would be nice but we wouldn’t want to be overly demanding.
- Brush your teeth daily.
- It is NEVER okay to stick your feet into a bin of face powder used by the rest of the cast.
- After high school it is no longer funny to fart on stage.
- Ditto for intentionally eating raw onion before a romantic scene where you kiss a fellow cast member.
Sputum
It is in a category of its own. All of the above violations of basic common courtesy are under the actor’s control. Spit, sadly, is not.
Actors, like other people, salivate. Some salivate more than others. And some have better control over how much of that saliva stays in their mouth while delivering lines, especially during impassioned speeches.
Sit in the front row of a good passionate drama sometime (anything by Mamet will do), and watch the air between the actors. You will see arcs of spit, trails of saliva sailing through the air, only to land I know not where. As an actor you must be immune to the inherent grossness of this phenomenon. Spit can strike at any moment and even if it lands IN YOUR MOUTH you cannot break character. You may not vomit or gag or have any of the normal semi-automatic reactions an ordinary person would have. If the spitter is your lover onstage, you must respond with only love, and not retaliation, in your heart.
We’ve focused on backstage so far. Next week we move to onstage mishaps, in the firm belief that the show must go on!
Next week: The audience doesn’t notice anything’s amiss