Some say you only need three things to create theatre: a script, a cast, and an audience. After all if there is no one to experience what you’ve created, the world moves on as if you had never made the effort. Whereas with an audience, if all goes well, there is a spiritual connection, an uplifting shared moment at the end of a play when the cast and the audience understand one another. It’s a beautiful thing.

Most audiences leave at that point, perhaps with a goodbye wave or a hearty “Nice job!” Some hang around to talk with the cast or staff. Which is normally perfectly fine, often a highlight of the evening for said cast or staff member. It all depends on the audience member.

To be clear, we love all our audiences. Without them the theatre wouldn’t exist. But just as parents secretly love some of their children more than others, so it is with theatre people and audiences.

Here is how to stay on the “most beloved” audience list:

Avoid asking an actor if he or she is a real actor

You probably mean something else, like “Is this your chosen profession, one you hope to devote your life to?” Instead an actor hears something different, something like “Why aren’t you on TV or famous?”

If you think an actor did a fine job, tell him so

You can keep it simple (“nicely done”, “really enjoyed your performance”) or you can be specific about what you liked. Even if the actor looks like he doesn’t want to be approached, it is a rare actor who doesn’t appreciate being appreciated. If he looks wary as you approach him, it may very well be because he’s shy. Yes, a surprising number of actors suffer from shyness!!

If a play amuses you, don’t be afraid to laugh out loud

You won’t disturb the actors, I promise! They value this kind of feedback, just as they would value applause after an especially moving scene. Audible audience feedback can inspire a cast to greater heights and yield superior performances. A lack of feedback can suck the life out of a production.

Yes, actors are supposed to be consistent in their performance no matter what. But they aren’t robots. They are all too human, with human frailties, and they respond well to feedback!

Which begs the question: What about negative feedback? What about booing? This is trickier. If you dislike the scene, is it because of the actor, the director, the script, or some other factor? Whatever your reason, if you boo in the middle of a performance, you are laying the blame at the feet of the actor(s) onstage, which may or may not be fair or address the source of your dissatisfaction.

A more equitable and effective approach is to find the theatre manager or producer in the lobby during intermission or after the show and say “This show is not to my liking, and I want to tell you why.” Unless they are hopelessly egotistical and arrogant (and that can happen), you will have their undivided attention. Someone who bothers to take the time to give specific critical feedback is a rare commodity, and you will get to say your piece.

If a show doesn’t deserve a standing ovation, please don’t give it one!

Make exceptions, of course, for productions done at the high school level or below. But for professional productions, the bar is and should be higher. Clap and hoot if you like, draw it out so that the cast gets multiple curtain calls, but don’t stand just because someone next to you stands.

If you choose to give a standing ovation, do it because the show transported you in a way no other show has done in a long time. Do it because the performances moved you at an elemental level or made you laugh harder than you’ve ever laughed before. If you stand for any other reason, you risk cheapening the standing ovation to the point where it is a meaningless distinction. It becomes the equivalent of everyone getting a blue ribbon so that no one’s feelings are hurt.

Follow these four simple suggestions, and you’ll make the actors you meet very happy!! Happy actors in turn want to make audiences happy, and so the cycle continues!